36 Things I Know To Be Absolute Gospel

Yesterday I was only 35 but as of this morning I have 36 years of experience under my belt and so I thought I might reflect on what it is I think I know by now. After all, I am officially closer to 40 than 30 so I'm fairly certain I have it all figured out by now, right?!  All opinions are my own and so I use the term "Gospel" lightly :) 

#36.) I am fairly certain that calculus and finite have no importance in life and are hanging around as a scare tactic for young hopefuls.

#35.) Truth in jokes, truth in jokes, truth in jokes

#34.) Age cannot be reflected in a person's face. If you want a more accurate teller, look at the hands.

#33.) Someday they are gonna realize that skinny jeans really just made us look fat!

#32.) Marriage is work but it doesn't have to be hard work.

#31.) I wish I were as skinny as the first time I decided I was fat.

#30.) I have come to find late in my life that crying is not a sign of weakness, it is a symbol of life getting better.

#29.)  Winnie the Poo was a great philosopher. As a kid, I thought he was just a hungry bear who ate too much honey but now I know that you can only have a big gut and wise things to say when you've had too much wine! Therefore he must also have been a great wino!

#28.) There is no one who will be as loyal to you as your dog, maybe sad, but very true! Everyone should have a dog once in their lives.

#27.) Having a baby doesn't make you a mom. Tradition can propel us forward and can also hold us back. 

#26.)  Eyes are truly the window to the sole. If you can't look a person in the eyes you may never really know them.

#25.) Technology is the best and worst thing that will happen to our kids. There is hardly anything in life that we can hold accountable for both. 

#24.) There is no process more delicate than raising a daughter.

#23.) I do believe in the "super-germ" and therefore welcome a healthy amount of dirtiness. 

#22.) There is no life worth living than a life with too many restrictions. By the time we are dead we will realize that we left one thing off our restrictions list that happen to kill us!

#21.) Mind over matter. I think they sometimes call this mind fuc#$ing... either way, it comes in handy.

#20.) Big hands, big feet....

#19.) Blonde's do have more fun so if you haven't been a blonde you should try it!

#18.) The biggest sin is saying that it couldn't happen to you.

#17.) The smaller my chest the closer you are to my heart.

#16.) Being spoiled has little to do with what you are used to having and more to do with what you continue to ask for.

#15.) I have never wanted anything as bad as I have wanted my kids to feel success.

#14.) What if we knew that what we will be remembered for in life had nothing to do with what we worked so hard to accomplish for ourselves.

#13.) It is no disservice to our kids to show them we have our own selfish needs.

#12.) Experiences, good and bad, are what keep life interesting and full

#11.) Sometimes it's better to be confident in your wrongness than feel like you are settling to be right

#10.) Pretending like I know what I am doing has proven successful in many of life's situations. 

#9.) Everyone is the same in one way, we all desire to be validated.

#8.) Carbs are not going to make you fat. Eating too much makes you fat! Do we have to keep talking about the skinny French women again?! 

#7.) Absence makes the heart grow fonder. You need a break from the people you love and this includes your children but more than anything, your children need a break from you! Don't flatter yourself! 

#6.) You can't mold anyone into what you want them to be. But you can always drive them crazy enough to break them down and ultimately get your way:)

#5.) Find one small thing that makes you happy and find time to do it everyday. 

#4.) Patience is a virtue... for slow people, that is! 

#3.) If you over think things, you're still alive...I never will consider that to be a fault. 

#2.) Age is a state of mind and nothing that a good present can't fix!

#1.) Write things down so your grandkids remember you as a person who lived life like they do, with sarcasm and joy, love and pain, disappointment and celebration. And also so that someone has some content for your funeral!

Happy Birthday to me!!!

Cheers! {Laura}